Mental Health and Flip Flops
“Lawyers are in the trauma business. Rarely do clients come to see you with happy news. As lawyers, we need to acknowledge the trauma so that clients feel seen, heard, and understood.” -Jeena Cho
We lawyers don’t talk openly enough about “mental health.” I know I don’t. I would much rather dive into the “facts” of a case or claim, draft a document, or make an oral argument. I’d do that all day long before being willing to consider “how I feel” about anything…because who needs that? It’s not admissible anyway…so why bother?
Our nation…our globe actually…is starting to come out of this “pandemic”…which was a full-blown international crisis on a scale I think we haven’t even begun to comprehend, and over time it will become clear just how devastating it was on so many layers of our culture. Once the “clear and present danger” begins to decrease, people begin to call the lawyers. Maybe an employer didn’t handle things appropriately. Maybe a domestic partner was abusive during quarantine. Maybe a business failed due to state or local regulations. Who knows what the call will be, but the calls will come…and we all need to recognize that those calls are often the worst part of the day for the person on the other end…and if you take enough of those, it begins to impact you too. So how do we be “good lawyers” in this changing landscape where there is not a “playbook”? Let’s be honest…it’s been a weird year. Everything shut down, and now we all do hearings on Zoom and “meet” clients on conference calls. I know I never did a hearing while wearing flip flops before this year, but now I don’t even know for sure where my dress socks are…So we have definitely gone through some “industry changes.”
But our obligation to our clients hasn’t changed. We have to “zealously advocate” for them, regardless of how, when, and where we do it. (Or what our footwear is at the time…) And part of being a “zealous advocate” is to be the best version of our INDIVIDUAL self, which is something I suspect we all could improve on. I know I can.
When I read the quote at the top of this blog, the word “trauma” jumped off the page. It’s a beautiful analysis, and Ms. Cho hit it right on the head…and I hope I do her no disrespect by expanding on it into our own lives. When your occupation is to handle the “calls” that are based on the trauma in the lives of others, we have to find a way to get beyond “the facts” only, and deal with our own state of mind so we are in the best state to help them.
So how do we go about doing that?
I have no idea…I’m a lawyer like you! (Basically totally emotionally unevolved…We are the worst to ask about things like feelings!)
Jokes aside, we need to do it…we need to be prepared for the people we will serve in the coming days to bring their trauma to us, and we need to be the best version of this profession when they do…no matter how hard that “work” might be. And it will be work, and not hours we can “bill”…but they may be the most significant hours and things we can do for our clients. And I can do it. You can do it. If you have the fortitude to go through all the hours, stress, anxiety…coffee, wine, and panic…that it takes to put “Esq.” at the end of your name, then you can be the version of you that we all need to be in order to be the “zealous advocates” we committed to become.
Do the hard “after hours” work. Do yoga. Call a therapist. Walk a dog. Download an app that helps you relax. Listen to a podcast. Deadlift. Paint a picture. “Lean in” to your relationship. Call your cousin. Bake muffins. It really doesn’t matter what you do to be the “best version” of you…just make sure you do it. And I promise to do it with you.
When things go sideways like they have, the first responders (doctors, nurses, etc…) are the lead-off batters. They went into the fire for us all, and they did so with such amazing fortitude. Well, the lawyers are batting in the “2 hole”…so we are on deck. As Covid-19 begins to fade as a medical crisis, it becomes a social and legal issue, and I hope we can represent our industry with as much courage and dignity as we have seen our healthcare professionals demonstrate.
Certainly part of it all will be the facts of the cases, and I know we are all comfortable with those. But who is the one answering the call, and are we going to be the best human we can when we do? Because being a good human is so much more relevant than being a good attorney…and you can’t be the best version of the latter without being willing and able to be the best version of the former.
Lawyers are in the trauma business. So let’s do all of our clients the best service ever by preparing ourselves to acknowledge their trauma by making sure we are taking care of ourselves. So we can take care of them. As long as we are doing that to our best efforts, it really doesn’t matter if we do it while wearing flip-flops.
#viverelaw #namaste #beagoodhuman